Dealing with the Stress of the Presidential Election

oy — election time again

NOTE: I wrote this back in 2008, came across it today and realized that in four years nothing had changed.  So here it is:

I don’t know about you, but I SO wish the Presidential election was over and done with.  I’ve gotten to the point where I hate all of the candidates just because I can’t get away from their faces.  I couldn’t entirely duck the 2000 and 2004 Presidential elections when I lived in England, either, because whatever politics happens in America greatly affects Great Britain.

I was living out in the woods and other homeless people would come up to my camp and quiz me on American politicians and how to correctly pronounce Ronald Regan’s name (“Ray-gun.  Just remember — ray-gun.”)  There are days when I still wish I was sitting in the woods.  Here are some of the things I’m doing that helps me deal with the Presidential Election.

Limit Access To News

Because of my job as a freelance writer, I can’t cut national news entirely out of my life.  I have to scan the paper, television and the web in order to make my living.  However, this doesn’t have to read anything beyond the headlines.  I also don’t have to pay attention when the candidates come on TV.  I can choose that time to vacuum the living room floor.  There — I’ve accomplished.  Don’t I feel better about myself?  The dog is a little tired of seeing that vacuum, though.

Swearing

Only choose appropriate places to swear out loud, otherwise, do it inside of your head.  Swearing doesn’t work for everyone.  For some people, even thinking a curse word can get their blood pounding.  I’m a little different.  I find just the right amount of swearing at certain times of the day — such as when any of the candidate’s faces appear — to help lower my blood pressure.  It relieves stress in the same way that sometimes you have to tense up in order to relax.  You could also just talk back to the TV with or without swearing.  Keep your ranting down to under five minutes, or your blood pressure will certainly shoot up — as well as the blood pressure of anyone that can hear you.

Hate All Of The Candidates Equally

Either love then equally or hate them equally.  In this way, you can’t be accused of party bias or any other kind of prejudice.  Personally, I hate the candidates because they are all men.  Now, granted, I know this is illogical and I fully accept that I’m being illogical.  But yet I feel so much more relaxed going throughout my day.  Things just seem to fall into place better and I don’t waste time foaming at the mouth.

Ice Cream Helps

Self-explanatory.  If you can’t have ice cream or ice milk, try either water ice, sherbet or yogurt.  A little sugar helps get you through to November.

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