“What a crazy fluke,
we’re gonna get nuked
on this happy holiday.”
– “Weird Al” Yankovic
For most people, the thought of any and all December holidays is far more frightening than the words “global thermal nuclear war.” At least, when the bombs drop, you don’t have to worry about parking. I worked retail for about ten years. My stomach still clenches in terror the first time I see a Christmas sale advertisement on TV for the year. But you can survive the December holidays by following these December holiday stress tips.
December Means More Than Christmas — Get Used To It
There is controversial evidence that Jesus was born in the spring or summer and not mid-winter. However, mankind (or manunkind) has a tradition of celebrating the winter solstice (the shortest day of the year) and the gradual return of spring with some sort of major party, so the birth of Jesus was good enough of an excuse to party. Long before Christmas, there was Midwinter’s Day, Saturnalia, Yule and Hanukkah (pardon my spelling). Kwanzaa has now joined the crowd. Christmas just gets the most advertising. I just avoid offending anybody by saying, “Happy December!”
Be Nice To Retail Workers
This December holiday stress tip deserved its own post here.
Don’t Have It On December 25
Christmas, or any date-specific holiday, is a real pain in the patootie just because everyone is expected to celebrate on the same day. Well, believe it or not, there is no law saying you HAVE to celebrate Christmas only on December 25. No Christmas police will come knocking at your door is you and your family decide to have Christmas or any other winter celebration in, say, mid January. Any retail, food service or travel workers in the family will especially appreciate this. They are so overworked in December that they tend to sleep all through Christmas Day.
It also is a lot less crowded and cheaper to travel in January than in December. By following this December holiday stress tip, you have time to relax and enjoy your party time.
Never Get A Pet As A Present
Never never never never never never NEVER NEVER get a pet as a Christmas present for someone not expecting it. This is an often overlooked December holiday stress tip that leads to very serious consequences. A pet is not something that can be shoved in a closet when you are no longer interested in it. Also, animals have individual personalities that can clash terribly with your gift recipient’s personality.
You need to invest a lot of time, energy and emotional commitment in properly caring for a pet. The bustle and excitement of holiday time will freak out a pet rock, let alone an eight week old puppy. Pets as Christmas presents mean crowded animal shelters by Easter. We already know that human beings treat other species with a total lack of good will. Let’s not keep this tradition alive, shall we?
Hope these tips help. Have a stress-free December holiday.