“Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” — David Banner (The Incredible Hulk)
Anger is a tool. It is neither good nor bad in and of itself — it just is. Anger can be used for good or for bad. It’s not fun to be angry — at least, I don’t think it’s fun to be angry. When I get angry, my head hurts, I shake and my stomach gets upset. I’m not fond of any of those sensations.
However, being a stereotypical Scorpio, it takes me a good long while to settle down when I get angry. I used to beat myself up for being “sinful” when I was angry. Now, I don’t (much). Instead, I try to use my anger constructively. Key word is try — I don’t always succeed.) This not only lowers my body’s stress responses, but sometimes gets something done.
When I lived in the woods outside of Bathwick, England, my only means of power was from firewood. I had to spend a couple of hours a day collecting firewood and kindling, hauling it back to camp, sawing it into manageable chunks with a bow saw and then chopping the heck out of it. It took a lot of energy. Fortunately (I say with my tongue firmly in my cheek), I had a turbulent relationship with a blue-eyed alcoholic. Needless to say, I was angry almost every day. But I used the anger constructively by filling the wood boxes.
Some days, I still miss chopping wood.
An even better example can be seen from actor Chris Leavins, who has an extremely popular (and extremely funny) web series and blog called Cute with Chris. (Before you click over there — be advised that adult language is used). Although he does not get paid for his show, he puts a lot into it.
One day in early January, he received an email from “Rhonda of Hollywood”
I am an actor, too (stage actor). I am thinking of starting an internet show to spread my talents but I worry that it will affect the way I’m seen as a stage performer. Your show is charming, but often strikes me as being very amatuer.”
I don’t know about you, but nothing ticks Chris off more than having his beloved show being called “very amateur.” He used his anger constructively and, in a mere 18 days, wrote, produced, promoted and starred in a one man live version of his internet show called “Cute With Chris LIVE”. And in the front row was a sign taped to a chair that read, “Reserved for Rhonda.” The show was hysterical.
Now that is using the tool of anger constructively.