Yes, this is another of those mini posts that is basically a plea for you to look at an article I wrote elsewhere on the Internet. I thank you, Gentle Reader, for putting up with these little adverts. They help keep this blog ad-free.

I also wanted to point out that I didn’t come up with the title. My client did. You definitely do not have to be an alcoholic before being a drug addict. I also once knew a former heroin addict who was able to quit the heroin but not the alcohol. Or cigarettes, either, for that matter.

ANYWAY, here’s a link to the article.</strong>

Hannibal It takes a lot for me to watch a new television series because, quite frankly, most new American TV sucks donkey balls. But I gave Hannibal a go when it premiered earlier this month and (to my utter astonishment) found that I like it.

The title character refers to Dr. Hannibal Lecter and takes place before Lecter was captured. For those of you who’ve been under a rock since 1992, Lecter was a psychiatrist, artist, gourmet chef and (oh yeah) serial killer who cannibalized most of his victims. I like the show. It’s cast well. It has a killer soundtrack and some really evil situations.

Does this mean I’m crazy? Probably not. The folks at American Decency hate it and they’re loopy as loons. Perhaps I just yearn for the good old days when serial killers would have the decency to murder their victims one at a time. Oh, by the way, my cousin was running in the Boston Marathon when the explosions went off. She’s fine. I nearly went apeshit waiting to discover what happened to her, though.

When I watch a show about a cannibals and serial killers in order to relax, I know that real life has gotten WAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too stressful.

Remember when they said that computers were going to make our lives so much easier?

I use my Mom’s computer, which is over ten years old. That means it’s about 100 in computer years. I had a Computer Guy come look at it to see why it’s so slow at times, and he said, “The only way to fix this is to get a new computer.” And thus, the Computer Guy hath spoken.

Now, I’d love to get a new computer, but I’d also like to sprout wings and fly. I’ve got a feeling the spontaneous appearance of wings from my shoulders is more likely to happen than the new computer, especially when we’re getting hit so hard with the recession (oh –excuse me — “Economic slowdown”).

So, how am I dealing with a cranky old computer and this new kind of computer stress? Not too badly. Here’s how.

It’s Not Just You

Just as you can stress yourself out comparing yourself to other people, you will definitely stress yourself out comparing your computer to other computers. All computers have problems. Although you might think you have the slowest computer in the world, everyone else also thinks they have the slowest computer in the world. At least you can take some comfort knowing that you are not alone.

Expect It To Be Slow

If you expect that your computer is going to run slow at times — especially if you have a few browser windows open or music playing, then bring other things to do to when your computer gets a little cranky. Some things I do are:
• Dust the desk
• Do filing (there always seems to be filing to be done when you telecommute)
• Go check on the cat or the dog or the Mom
• Read a book
• Stretch
• Write a shopping list (resisting the urge to put at the top “New computer”)

By expecting a cranky computer to have cranky moments, you can lessen your computer stress by acknowledging the computer is slow, then taking that time to do something else productive. In this way, you are busy instead of pounding your head against the wall.

Hope this helps.

I work at home.  I’m not only a freelance writer, but I’m the caretaker to my Mom.  Mom has a tendency to fall asleep in front of a blaring television.  However, if I turn the television off, she wakes up and turns the television back on.  And then goes to sleep again.

So I was not responsible for listening to a recent episode of The Biggest Loser.  During this episode, there was mention that many American girls do not think they are beautiful.  There was a lot of gasps and “tut-tut”-ing at that.

And I thought, “Yeah? So?”  Maybe the girls are ugly and they accept reality.  It’s not that big of a deal.  I knew was I was ugly when I was a kid and (SURPRISE) I grew up into an ugly woman.  Quite frankly, the only thing that’s going to make me look better is intensive reconstructive surgery.  That’s just the way it is.

When someone claims they are beautiful (and really are butt-ugly) don’t you feel a little unsure about this person’s sanity?  Am I the only one here thinking, “How many layers of delusion are you under, kiddo?” It’s like listening to a failed audition at American Idol (another show my Mom likes to fall asleep to) and the wanna-be singer has no clue as to why they failed.  One hopeless case from when Ellen DeGeneres was a judge even wailed, “But it’s my DREAM!” The judges have no problem telling her that she couldn’t sing.  Why can’t we tell someone they’re ugly (provided they ask first?)

Worrying about your looks is majorly stressful for some people.  I understand that (especially if you are in a job where looks are everything.)  But if you’re ugly (like me) then why even try going down that path which you know will lead to absolute, crushing failure?  Just accept it and move on.  Read a book.  Take up a hobby.  Adopt a pet (which neer cares what you look like as long as you are breathing.)

I think this is a much healthier outlook for ugly people than for insisting that they are beautiful.


Hypnosis is a natural, gentle method of treatment to help bring any kind of needed change into your life. Hypnosis, often called hypnotherapy, can be learned or you can go to one of the many certified hypnotherapists in the country. Some studies have shown that hypnosis can help ease anxiety and stress related disorders, more studies still need to be done.

Check with your doctor or therapist to see if they can benefit from hypnosis and if they know of any hypnotherapists they can refer you to. Stress and anxiety symptoms can often be triggered by thoughts – and treating stress and anxiety with hypnosis gets you to have power over your own thoughts.

Going To A Hypnotherapist 

Hypnotherapists have to be certified to before they can go treating stress and anxiety with hypnosis.  They are trained and watched over by the National Board of Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists.  They cannot make you do anything you really don’t want to do.  And if you find you can’t be hypnotized, don’t worry about it.

The hypnotherapist gets you to deeply relax to the point where you just about fall asleep, then makes a helpful suggestion, perhaps “I am a healthy person,” or, “I can control anxious thoughts”.  He or she might also suggest hints to help you turn off an already started anxiety symptom.  This suggestion plants itself into your subconscious.  When you start a symptom such as a pounding heart, which might automatically trigger you mind to gently remind you that you are NOT your symptoms and your body can relax.


Hypnotherapists don’t use any secret tricks or spells.  They just help you to relax and make some encouraging suggestions.  You can do this yourself, although it can take some practice.  Some people find it easier to relax in an office and have someone else have the responsibility of planting the suggestion.  Some people find it easier to relax if they do it themselves.  There is no one right way for everybody.

There are many self-hypnosis tapes and CDs on the market, or you can do it yourself.  You need at least ten minutes of uninterrupted time.  You can have your room quiet or with soft music.  You can burn incense or not.  You can lie down or sit up.  You may choose to go right to sleep after the hypnosis session, but you have to be awake throughout the whole session.

Get relaxed.  Get deeply relaxed.  You might count from twenty down to one to get relaxed, or chant a familiar poem or prayer.  Then, you make your own helpful positive suggestion, such as “I am a healthy person”, then slowly wake yourself back up and go about your day.

In Conclusion

Treating stress and anxiety with hypnosis is just one of many tools you can use throughout your day.  It does not work overnight and does not work for everyone.  You still have to take your medication – if you are already on medication – and to follow any other advice from your doctor or therapist.


I’m sick of being told to “forgive and forget.” I get told this because I was a victim of domestic violence and have PSTD (as well as major depression).  I can understand forgiving and forgetting when someone dings my car door in the supermarket parking lot but getting beat up and left for dead?  Fuck that!

And, being in love (read idiot) I did do the forgive and forget thing the first time he tried to kill me.  And the second time.  And the third time.  Can you see you ineffective forgiving and forgetting was in that situation?

So, moral of the story is — forgiveness ain’t cheap.  Don’t give it away freely.